Ah yes. Valentine’s Day. Let me first start by saying,

Happy Valentine’s Day

Now, let me state for the record I’m not a fan of Hallmark Holidays.

Thankfully, neither is my wife. Which, like most everything in my life as it pertains to my wife, is great for me.

Don’t get me wrong. I love any act, intended or not, that shows someone you love how much you love them. That feeling that one receives at that moment is what makes my life worth living.

However, my biggest character flaw is the fact that I don’t like being told what to, how to, or when to show my love. Maybe today is a big day in some relationships. Maybe other spouses love being apart of the flower baskets parade at work. Maybe some in love, enjoy buying a heart shaped box filled with chocolate and presenting it to their special someone on this special day. Nirvana ruined heart shaped boxes for me because it always reminds me of their song Heart Shaped Box. The lyrics are intriguing but the video was to much for me. This is by no means a letter against those people who love to consume and participate in Valentine’s Day. Whatever floats your boat.

I hate expectations

My only Valentine isn’t a real fan of this holiday either. Another example of why and how our relationship works. When we were kids we did exchange cards. Funny story, the first Valentine I ever bought for my wife I held on to for like a decade out of embarrassment.

Are you old enough to remember long distance phone calls?

I spent forever finding that right card. You know something subtle, sweet, but not overly lovey for a girl that had just turned 17 a few days before. We had kinda dated the summer before. But, living 30 minutes away, attending different high schools, we didn’t really share common friends, she had her license, I did not, and it was actually long distance to call her from my house. But, strangely enough it wasn’t long distance from her to me. I still don’t understand that.

A made for teenage movie moment

The first Valentine’s Day after I met this beautiful smile from Dyer whom gave great hugs, I showed up unannounced to her house. But as I turned onto Berkley Drive I saw another announced guest parked in her driveway that evening. It was her old boyfriends car in the driveway. A pine tree on the left. Her house on the right.

My heart sank. I sped past her house as inconspicuously as one driving an old Ford Aerostar could around a large around a cul-de-sac/drive with a huge grassy median. So large come to find out over the next 2 plus decades it’s where my wife and her friends routinely played in as kids. It seemed to take a lifetime to get out of view of her parents huge front room window.

We weren’t dating at that moment. But we were talking. He drove a brand new white Thunderbird. He was already in college. How could I compete? They had really dated. They had been to a dance or two. I had seen the framed pictures in the house. He had his license. He had his own car. He was there I was here. He knew her and her family but so did I. Should I knock on the door? But how could someone like me compete with someone like that?

Persistence

Communication

Patience

Is the answer

Over the next 5 years our paths continued to cross. Our lives continued to intersect. During these last two decades we have continued to build our friendship, develop ourselves, discover one another and each other. Most importantly we cultivated a love of which neither of us had ever known and which continues to grow. For better or worse. For richer or poorer. In sickness and in health.

For that I am incredibly grateful,

because of you,

for the love we share,

I’ve been lucky enough to be loved by you during the majority of my life,

I can only hope to be loved by you in death.

To the one person that

a) I know will read this eventually and

b) enjoys reading what I write*

Happy Valentine’s Day my love.

Whether we celebrate with champagne chicken, balloons with special notes, cut out hearts, home made cards, a heart shaped pizza, KISSing the ground you walk on, heart shaped trails, a candle lit table with sliders and some tissue paper flowers.

Our daughters send there love and are demanding my attention quite vocally.

Wherever you are,

Is where we want to be,

Today and everyday,

You are my funny valentine.

Ken